All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Randomize
