Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Randomize
