We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
