How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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