Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
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