so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
i think my cat just said my name.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
