hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize