he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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