She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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