ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Porn is love you can see.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
