I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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