why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
