Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I deserve this hangover.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
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