can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
