Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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