I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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