Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
