I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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