Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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