I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Randomize
