"it" just moved
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
