I don't usually arrange sex via text message
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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