They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
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When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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