Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Randomize
