my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
