The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
