Banned from zoo.
Again?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
he just fucked me for my cheese..
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
