Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
