how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
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