guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
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