OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I touched a dick in church today
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
