They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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