i'm signing you up for texting rehab
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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