He asked me if I "almost moaned"
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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