Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
so let's talk penis.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
