Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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