Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Randomize
