It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
