afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
The beer is more important than you right now.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
