I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
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Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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