so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
