im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
why does every cop we meet know your name?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
