you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Randomize
