so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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