I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize