soooo we both peed the bed last night...
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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