is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
