Moan for me like Helen Keller
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
