I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
