Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
