would you consider him our boss?
then technically i slept with our boss
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!