I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
there is puke in my bra ... again
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