xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"