my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae