We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
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Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
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Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder