life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
he just fucked me for my cheese.