He went soft
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.