her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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