okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
