no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
