Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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