I wannas sexs uuuuu
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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