Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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