It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
