there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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