am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
