I could make wine with my vomit
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize