I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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