Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
