she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
