your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
