i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize