69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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