direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
