I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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