Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
