i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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