Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
i love accidental penises.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Drunk is a universal language darling
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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